Tuesday, 30 November 2010
“Dianne, please stay here till I come back, OK?” Though her dad was a little paranoid that night, Dianne was used to the millionth time her dad has implored it to her, except that he stressed on “please” that time around rushing to get some over-the-counter pain relievers just three minutes drive away outside their village.
It bugged Dianne so much for she was just about to step out the house to wait for Tom who would pick her up on the gate, that both her mom and dad know she had been very excited of Tom’s 21st birthday party. Though she know that her mom could eventually manage to ease her chest pain just by herself, probably because of experiencing Acute Coronary Syndrome almost once a week, she still went upstairs to check her up. “Mommy, can I come in?” she asked after knocking. It took her mom a few seconds to reply, “Sure baby…” granting her request. She opened the door slowly and through the dim light provided by the lampshade beside the bed, Dianne could partially view her mom’s figure on the bed bulging under the blanket covering it. As Dianne stepped in, she surprisingly saw her mom actually sitting in front of the mirror, looking pretty fine, while combing her wavy hair. Hesitantly, Dianne opened her mouth asking, “How are you mom?”, while also wondering why her dad had to be that crazy in hurrying for something when her mom seems to be in good condition. Continuously combing her hair over her chest applying a little weight on it, she softly answered “You must be late of Tom’s party…” without directly looking at Dianne. “May I help you with that mom?” Dianne said returning the favor to her mom’s expression of concern pacing toward her. “It’s OK baby,” she said huskily as if stopping her daughter of proceeding. Dianne didn’t like the atmosphere inside the room at that very moment so she tried to escape out asking, “May I get you some water or milk mom?” “No, thanks, baby, just go ahead and wait for Tom outside, he must be here any minute”, still in her husky voice. “Are you sure?” Dianne verified. Her mom nodded very gently. “Just call me then when you need me. I’ll just be downstairs mom”, Dianne said with half lies on her tone walking out.
As she descended the stairs, right just as she closed her mom’s door, Dianne’s phone rang louder than its volume setting which shocked her and missed on the steps. She almost fell if not of the bar she was able to hold on to. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and pressed the green button. “Hello Dianne, we are almost there”, it was Tom’s voice. “Really? Dad went out and told me to stay till he comes back”, Dianne replied. “OK then, contact me when you’re ready, I’ll pick up the others first”, he said. “No, come and get me now, I’m so excited for your party. Oh! Before I forgot… happy birthday Tom”. Tom chuckled then said, “Thanks, but that was the twenty-first time you said that today, be ready then” revealing that he had in fact knew Dianne’s scheme. “It is to count how old you are, haha”, she confirmed. Tom’s van arrived in just few minutes, and after short drive, they were already in the party.
Dianne had never been to a party for quite long and she really missed it a lot. In fact the last time she could remember she attended such gatherings was during the JS prom. So she took advantage of every moment she was in Tom’s party. Dianne went childishly wild in the dance floor as if she owned half of it when rock music played. She also made sure that her long-time crush, Tom, would be fascinated enough of her not to pick up another when sweet music plays, by gracefully carrying the dress her mom prepared for her which she matched up with fair make-ups. “Wohooh! Let’s party-party!”, she would yell after taking several glasses of lady’s drinks. Tom’s parents were quite sophisticated that night allowing them to take some of it.
As the music faded, her phone timely rang flashing her dad’s name calling, which made her discover that it was the fifth time his dad attempted to contact her. Her hands shook hearing her dad’s voice crying hurrying her to go home. Dianne hastily ran out of the party and gets a cab home without even telling Tom or any one.
When Dianne arrived, everything were seems at slow motion. Her mom’s doctor’s car was parked in front of their gate beside his dad’s car. She aimed her way towards the house without any facial reaction, having completely blank mind, and as if she was just walking in the air. The mood inside the house was very heavy for her. Then she heard his dad’s voice screamed her mom’s name. Without thinking any thing, she went towards the stairs. But it seemed like she has no energy to lift her feet on the steps on her first stabs. It took her long getting to the top. She opened her mom’s door without even knocking as she reached the knob. She saw the doctor standing by her dad, who was hugging her mom tightly. Her dad’s face was all over wet with tears.
Dianne stepped closer, “Dad, what are you doing with mom? Look, she can’t breathe. Release her now dad.” Dianne’s voice was very light.
“Dianne, your mom is gone”, her dad said looking downward.
“Haha, that was funny dad! We were just talking earlier. Let me talk to her”, Dianne was in denial. “Mom, you didn’t call me for your milk so I went to the party. I’m sorry, I didn’t tell you.” She paused a little waiting for an answer. “Mom the party was fun, I wish you were there too, I know you would enjoy it.”
“Dianne, your mom had a cardiac arrest…”, the doctor was interrupted explaining.
“NO!”, Dianne Screamed. “We were just talking! Dad, please tell me he’s lying! ”
“I could not contact the doctor so I went out to get him”, her dad explained. “After Tom phoned your mom telling about his special surprise for you, she had this irregular breathing. The medicine I gave her didn’t take effect and I was about to rush her to the hospital but she didn’t want you to see her suffering, especially tonight, so I left her on the bed”, he continued.
Dianne was still out of herself. She couldn’t force to sink, what happened, in her. Then her phone suddenly rang breaking the silence. It was Tom calling. As she answered it, she straight away heard Tom’s voice, with a disco music background, yelling, “Dianne, where are you? I’ve been searching for you all over the place”, frustrated. “Yes Tom, I’m just around. Let’s party-party!”
Wednesday, 10 November 2010
Trahe de Boda
Napakabata pa natin noon para masabing natagpuan ko na ang pangarap kong bestida. Singputi ng ulap, singlambot ng bulak, singgara ng nagkukumpulang sampaguita sa paanan ng Birheng Maria, at may pangkubli pa sa mukhang singhaba ng banderitas. Bagay na bagay sa mahinhing kilos ng maladyosang nagsusuot nito. Dumagdag pa sa kapinuhan ng dalaga ang tangan niyang kumpol ng mga puting rosas.
Tumatak sa utak ko ang Linggong iyon. Tamang-tama nang inaya mo akong magsimba e kasalukuyan ang seremonya ng isang magarbong kasal. Palibot ang mga malalagong bulaklak sa buong simbahan. Nakapangingilabot ang tiyempo ng koro na noon ko lamang narinig umawit ng lirikong nag-uumapaw sa pag-ibig. Agaw-pansin ang mga sutlang bestida ng mga abay. Gayon din ang barong ng mga kapareha nila. Ngunit, ang labis na pumukaw sa akin ay ang magkapareha sa harap ng pari. Tuon ang lahat ng mga atensiyon sa kanilang bawat sumpa. Ang bawat isa ay animoy sabik sa kung anuman. Bakas din sa mukha mo noon ang kakaibang aliwalas at paghanga. Iyon ang unang kasal na ating nasaksihan. Iyon din ang pinangarap kong kahantungan… natin…
Kahit nung mga bata pa tayo, ikaw lang ang lagi kong kasangga. Basta ikaw ang nagyaya, kanselado na lahat ng aking lakad. Walang kang lakad na di mo ko kasama. Walang malaki o maliit na sikreto ang di mo sinabi. Ngunit di ako naging patas sayo. May pangarap akong lingid sa inaasahan mo. Kahit sa biruan, hindi ako makaipon ng lakas ng loob na magpasaring sayo.
Natatandaan mo ba noong binigo ka ng babaeng tipo mo? Sinamahan kitang makapagpalipas ng sama ng loob. Sa kalasingan natin, sa wakas ay nakapagtapat ako. Nagtanong ka noon kung bakit ni minsan ay hindi man lang ako pumasok sa isang relasyon. Ang sagot kong medyo palihis ay, “Hinihintay ko kasi ang taong magpapasuot sa akin ng trahe de boda”. Tawang-tawa ka sa iyong narinig. Halos maisuka mo ang tatlong bote ng serbesang nainom mo noon. Pero nang mapansin mong medyo napahiya ako sa iyong reaksiyon, nakisakay ka nalang at muling nagtanong. “E sino naman yong taong yon?”. Dahil nasimulan ko na rin lang naman ay tinuloy-tuloy ko na ang pagsamantala sa kapal-mukhang dulot mg alak at buong tapang kitang sinagot, “Sino pa? Edi ikaw!”. Muli, halos gumulong ka sa paghalakhak.
Sa tugon mong iyon ay nahimasmasan ako at biglang binawi ang aking pagtatapat, “Syempre, biro lang yon, ‘kaw talaga!”. Bigla kang naubusan ng kiliti at nagseryoso, “Hindi ko gusto ang ganyang biro, pare!”. Nanaig ang panandaliang katahimikan saka ka muling humalakhak.
Noong mga oras na iyon ay damang-dama ko rin ang iyong pinagdadaanan, kaya nagpadagdag pa tayo ng maiinom. Masmabigat noon sa pakiramdam na naibulalas ko ang aking saloobin kesa noong kinikimkim ko lamang ito. Pagkatapos ng pag-amin kong iyon ay may dagdag pangamba pa akong maaring magkalamat ang ating samahan. Mabuti na lamang at mukhang magkasamang naglaho ang tama mo sa alak at ang ala-ala mo sa gabing iyon.
Mula noon, ibinaon ko na lamang ang pangarap kong walang pagkakataon, kailanman, na mabigyang katuparan. Ang pangarap kong hindi moral sa mata ng lahat, lalo na sa akin mismong pangarap.